About 4 or 5 times a year, there is a group of old friends that get together and have tea and lunch/dinner. This last week I met with the ladies and one of the girls, who is has been in a committed relationship for a few years finally let out that she had caught her significant other cheating. She wasn't going to tell us because she was embarrassed about the situation. She did get a very large piece of gorgeous jewelry, which was eye catching! The thing is that all of us have stories of being lied to, cheated on or simply dumped without explanation. Most of the women are married, a few in relationships and a couple of us are single.
You know what happens when you get a large group of ladies together to talk about men? It all comes out! And oh boy did a lot of juiciness come out that day! The best story of the day was Lilly's story. None of us had heard anything quite like it! Lilly is back in the dating pool told us her story of being "ghosted." Apparently this is a new term in the digital world... or I guess the dating world as it is these days. Ghosting is when you are either dating or talking to someone and they just disappear... vanish without a trace. Stop answering your texts, calls, emails, DMs, messages or whatever else you can do digitally! Lilly hadn't even actually met this man but for weeks they were non-stop texting and calling. She grew very fond of him, and although the situation wasn't ideal, she was happy. She got the butterflies and lit up when she got a text from him. She enjoyed their conversations immensely- she looked forward to their chats and messages. Then out of the blue, he just disappeared. She sent a few messages and called once and never heard back. She then found out that he had lied to her and was in fact in a relationship or married. Rather than tell Lilly to her face, have the conversation, be abused, take the shit because what he was doing was mean, unnecessary and undeserved, he was a coward. When you don't say anything, its even worse. It's like you don't have a backbone. What is so wrong these days with doing the right thing? Having the hard conversation? Are people so far gone in the digital world or simply desensitized to human interaction that they can't do the right thing and have a bit of integrity and honesty and say look I'm sorry I've met someone else, or I'm sorry I just don't think this is going to work, or listen, I was dishonest I have a wife/girlfriend and I can't talk to you anymore. Anything is better than nothing, am I right?
Why can't more people (men and women) be decent. What is the price of admission? Simply doing the right thing, which is difficult. Technology has made it easy for people to be rude and uncaring. It is easier to just avoid "life" itself.
Statistically 70-83% of married men have extramarital affairs. It's closer to 96% for couples in relationships but not married. (Numbers depend on which study you read... but they are big numbers!)
I personally do not believe men are inherently monogamous creatures. Keep in mind this is my opinion and women can be just as bad! What came out of our girly pow-wow was that men simply get bored. It doesn't matter who you are, what you look like, how good the sex is they just get bored!
I don't think this should make someone skeptical nor punish the next person that comes along, rather keep your eyes wide open, heart guarded and never let anyone "screw you over!" He'll never screw me, but he can screw someone else!
We are in full swing back on the road... in different stages of three separate projects, Its hard to remember where I am what day without looking at the calendar. Recently, while on the road we happened to see an older gentleman fall and seriously injure himself. I went to see if I could help. There were two ladies and his wife, who was obviously very shaken. The man (Herb) was unable to get up and was in so much pain. One of the ladies and I stayed and tried to calm him. We put ice on his arm and shoulder, talked to him and did our best ease him and his wife.
They were apparently on their way to see war room, a faith based film. The ladies who stopped to help suffer from ailments themselves and were so attentive and helpful even though being on the ground was also painful. There was so much love and willingness to help, I couldn't help but think to myself that there are still good people in this world. So many people just keep going... in their own world, without a care for those around them. In Florida, it is rare for anyone to stop and help. It is almost as though we have become an apathetic society. We have lost that thing that makes us human. This incident has restored my faith in human beings.
We waited for the ambulance for 1:10. I felt so bad for Herb who was a super trooper! It took another 45 minutes for the medics to treat him and get him on the stretcher. Herb has since been released from the hospital and is doing well. As for me, I made a very special new friend. Everything happens for a reason, and I think each of us took something home that day.
I know there are still those out there who will just keep walking. Who are so engrossed with themselves and their own loves they think nothing of others, but there are still of a few of us out there who truly care, and if you fall down or need help, we will be there to help.
Most of you know I got my career started in music. It has always been a big part of my life, and it truly makes me happy. Listening, creating, singing.... it's always how I have expressed myself. I journal my thoughts and have people like my bestie or Rolan Whitt (talent comedian & bit of a lyricist) come up with something fun. I am so Taylor Swift in that way! Rather than wear your heart on your sleeve...just put it in a song! Your ex will never know it's about him... no way! LOL! (Carrie Underwood: Before He Cheats coming to mind!)
In my former life, pop was my thing and decided I want to be a rapper (don't laugh, its a dream!) I soon discovered, rapping is so much harder than you would think. I have been working on a project for quite awhile now (hey, the best things come to those who wait) but things are indeed moving along slowly but surely. I have one of the most talented vocal and performence coaches on the East coast and not only are we singing but I think my time with Caryn has really improved my speaking skills. Good thing the last 18 months have been filled with speaking events!
I had quite a fall a few months ago and as a result had a broken tail bone, a few ribs, dislocated CV joint, so lets just say singing was not on the agenda for a few months! Last week was the first time I belted out a note in months! I went in pretty strong. Must admit, it was a tough day but a really good one. We had a lot of laughs which felt good after the week I've had. Not to mention I have a ton of new things to write about--- its been a few months... one can only imagine the stock pile I've got built up! As Gina says: "I was katy Perry'd!" What does that even mean??? In any case, lots to work with! Tons of fun, new material!
Caryn Rae Robin, my vocal coach, who also happens to be a Miami Heat Golden Oldies Dancer made both the Miami Herald and a few TV stations recently for her energetic dancing. (Link attached)
A seriously talented and energetic lady!
We shall see where the music goes from here. No more deadlines and stress, just fun! Simply music and lyrics... that's what to come.... music and lyrics, as it should be!
If you haven't already heard, we went to West Virginia to film some of Shadow of the Missing. Although we would have loved to go back and film in Llanelli Wales, we needed a US location for some quick pickup shots. West Virginia was very welcoming and hospitable to us. Our Unit Production Manager, (and much more) Doc Benson was able to arrange everything so things were very smooth from the minute my toes stepped out of the plane! The West Virginia Film Commission was amazing. Very efficient, fast and helpful at each turn....not to mention the 31% tax credit that WV offers! HELLO!
There was so much local support. We had great meals provided by local businesses. One of my favorite spots was Shemps which is in Cairo WV. WTAP TV in Parkersburg invited us to chat about Shadow of the Missing on Daybreak, the morning show. I was not particularly fond of the lighting and angle (let's just say I looked like a very tired,deformed alien!) but very appreciative they gave us time to talk about the film (Link attached below- no laughing!)
I am truly thankful for West Virginia's hospitality and it is amazing to me how this state can double for many parts of the UK.
SOTM will be festival ready at the beginning of the year and screened where it all started... At the Carmarthen Bay Film Frstival in May 2016.
Below are some photos from our shoot.