About 4 or 5 times a year, there is a group of old friends that get together and have tea and lunch/dinner. This last week I met with the ladies and one of the girls, who is has been in a committed relationship for a few years finally let out that she had caught her significant other cheating. She wasn't going to tell us because she was embarrassed about the situation. She did get a very large piece of gorgeous jewelry, which was eye catching! The thing is that all of us have stories of being lied to, cheated on or simply dumped without explanation. Most of the women are married, a few in relationships and a couple of us are single.
You know what happens when you get a large group of ladies together to talk about men? It all comes out! And oh boy did a lot of juiciness come out that day! The best story of the day was Lilly's story. None of us had heard anything quite like it! Lilly is back in the dating pool told us her story of being "ghosted." Apparently this is a new term in the digital world... or I guess the dating world as it is these days. Ghosting is when you are either dating or talking to someone and they just disappear... vanish without a trace. Stop answering your texts, calls, emails, DMs, messages or whatever else you can do digitally! Lilly hadn't even actually met this man but for weeks they were non-stop texting and calling. She grew very fond of him, and although the situation wasn't ideal, she was happy. She got the butterflies and lit up when she got a text from him. She enjoyed their conversations immensely- she looked forward to their chats and messages. Then out of the blue, he just disappeared. She sent a few messages and called once and never heard back. She then found out that he had lied to her and was in fact in a relationship or married. Rather than tell Lilly to her face, have the conversation, be abused, take the shit because what he was doing was mean, unnecessary and undeserved, he was a coward. When you don't say anything, its even worse. It's like you don't have a backbone. What is so wrong these days with doing the right thing? Having the hard conversation? Are people so far gone in the digital world or simply desensitized to human interaction that they can't do the right thing and have a bit of integrity and honesty and say look I'm sorry I've met someone else, or I'm sorry I just don't think this is going to work, or listen, I was dishonest I have a wife/girlfriend and I can't talk to you anymore. Anything is better than nothing, am I right?
Why can't more people (men and women) be decent. What is the price of admission? Simply doing the right thing, which is difficult. Technology has made it easy for people to be rude and uncaring. It is easier to just avoid "life" itself.
Statistically 70-83% of married men have extramarital affairs. It's closer to 96% for couples in relationships but not married. (Numbers depend on which study you read... but they are big numbers!)
I personally do not believe men are inherently monogamous creatures. Keep in mind this is my opinion and women can be just as bad! What came out of our girly pow-wow was that men simply get bored. It doesn't matter who you are, what you look like, how good the sex is they just get bored!
I don't think this should make someone skeptical nor punish the next person that comes along, rather keep your eyes wide open, heart guarded and never let anyone "screw you over!" He'll never screw me, but he can screw someone else!